


like the dip of a celestial sea

by singasongofus



Series: the universe will hold you [1]
Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, F/F, incredibly vague space au with incredibly vague characters and no context, moonsun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 09:24:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20255851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/singasongofus/pseuds/singasongofus
Summary: regardless of how worthy she deems herself, regardless of how desperately she wishes she could turn back and fix the mess she made, she would never want to change this; she knows that she wants to love byulyi for the rest of her life.





	like the dip of a celestial sea

**Author's Note:**

> written for gg jukebox round one, inspired by "let's get lost" by carly rae jepsen. title from emily dickinson's "i learned-- at least-- what home could be"

_ “Where thou art-- that-- is home” _

_ Emily Dickinson _

.

It's like this: after 15 years, Yongsun thought she'd be tired of wandering across the galaxy. In the beginning, the endlessness was appealing. She could run and run and run, and nothing would ever stop her or back her into a corner. And run she did, so far and for so long that she thought she could really do it, could reach the end of the universe and drop off into nothingness. 

She hasn't stayed a night in a real house for longer than she can remember-- she’s not sure she would know how to fall asleep without the white noise of the engine, or the soft humming of the bridge. Tonight, too, the ship whispers softly all around her, but it's not the gentle whirr of machinery that lulls her to sleep anymore.

Byulyi sighs softly, just shy of a snore, rolling over to curl an arm around Yongsun’s waist. Yongsun remembers how she used to sleep, curled up on her side like she was trying to take up as little space as possible. It hurts her heart to think of the kind of life Byulyi used to live-- she tries not to imagine it, but Yongsun doesn’t think she’ll ever forget how Byulyi looked the first time they met, her silver eyes wide with fear and something else, some unnamed, untamed longing.

Yongsun wants to remember every moment with Byulyi. She came into Yongsun’s life so suddenly; sometimes Yongsun worries that she’ll disappear just as fast. The familiarity of shared spaces and shared touches has done nothing to tame the way Yongsun’s heart flutters in her throat when she catches Byulyi staring. Even after all this time, Byulyi keeps finding new ways to take her breath away.

The sun here is dim and red, casting the planet in an eternal sunset glow. The orange light turns Byulyi’s strange, pale eyes bright and golden when she opens them sleepily, tightening her hold around Yongsun’s waist.

“Why are you awake?”

Yongsun hums in response, tipping Byulyi’s face up for a kiss. “Just thinking.”

“That’s not an answer,” complains Byulyi. She tucks her face into the side of Yongsun’s neck, leaving a soft kiss below her ear. “What’s wrong?”

The truth is, Yongsun still doesn’t feel like she deserves this love. She’s made a lot of choices that she isn’t proud of, and spent thirteen years flying to the far edges of the universe trying to escape them. What could she possibly have done to deserve Byulyi, who loves her wholly and without reservation, whose spirit is so pure and bright and  _ good _ ? She’s still learning to be okay with wanting Byulyi, to be okay with being wanted.

“Hey,” Byulyi whispers, propped up on her elbow now so she can look at Yongsun properly, “it’s okay. I’m here.”

Yongsun can only nod, letting Byulyi pull her into a hug. Wandering space for so long, she’s learned that not everything happens for a reason. Maybe she’s always known it, that bad things happen to good people and sometimes you’re helpless to do anything about it. Yongsun doesn’t think she’s a good person; she made a mistake and the people she loved paid the price-- but sometimes good things happen to bad people, too, and she can only be grateful. She lets Byulyi hold her, and reminds herself,  _ you are allowed to be happy _ . 

Byulyi’s heart beats against her ear, slow and steady, and Yongsun is suddenly overwhelmed by how much she loves this woman. Regardless of how worthy she deems herself, regardless of how desperately she wishes she could turn back and fix the mess she made, she would never want to change this; she knows that she wants to love Byulyi for the rest of her life. This love makes her better, makes her more  _ herself _ than she’s been for longer than she can remember.

Byulyi’s heart beats against her ear, and Yongsun’s world narrows down to just her, just the two of them in the light of the sun and the endless universe.

Yongsun spent so long searching the universe for answers, why and how and what do I do now? She doesn't need to know anymore, she thinks, not when she has Byulyi, strange and beautiful and full of the kind of love that makes even the stars shine more brightly. Byulyi, who she loves in a way that gives her the confidence to say, this is what I want-- you are what I want. Byulyi who found her by chance, who took her by the hand and said,  _ This is what the universe has to offer _ .

**Author's Note:**

> this fic actually has a full timeline, character bios, and two separate outlines, and was originally supposed to be a lot longer and more plot-driven, but then i got super busy with school and wasn't able to finish it, so i wrote this instead. i'm sorry if it's super confusing and i hope one day i'll be able to write the full fic i intended for this to be, but please don't keep your fingers crossed for it.
> 
> as always, thank you for reading ! please leave a comment and let me know what you thought.


End file.
